Witcher School Journey - March 2017- #3

Packing.

Witcher school is 1 day away!

I am 89% ready.

Did some packing yesterday. Unlike last time, I did not panic, but I did walk around the house like a confused little girl.
WHAT HAVE I FORGOT?
The thing that even scares me more is that my luggage seems so light. It can't be right. I must have forgot something really important. 

I know I have packed: 

- 2 pair of pants
- 3 shirts (!) Never know. 
- 2 robes. . . one small and practical one, and one huge-freaking-useless-unless-you-are-planning-to-do-nothing.
- 2 hoods.
- 2 basically of everything.
- Potions. All my two kinds of potion. Swallow and Golden Oriole. I hope someone else can drink mine, because I don't wanna!  (Hope they dont break on their way down, though I have wrapped the bottles good enough. . . wonder what the custom people will say if they controll my bag. . .what will I say? - It's alcohol, home made with herbs...?) 
- Belts
- Boots in the hand luggage - Like a pro!
- A towel 
- Passport
- Things for decorating my room
- Fancy cups 
- Books and things I most likely never will use.
- Cards . . . 


And all those things I can't pack before tonight. Like toothbrush and other girly needs :p 
Not that I need hairbrush anymore - whoohoo, that's the thing I always forgets anyways.

And all the things I need to remember to do tomorrow / later today.

1:  Make sure I have cash for the travel, the bus and the hotel. I will do that now, come to think of it.
2: Buy something to drink at the tax-free. Wroclaw airport had one, did they not? I don't remember o.0 
3: Pray that the flights are in time, and it will go smoothly.
4: Pack phone charger. ( I use the phone a lot! Its a 5 hour travel after all. I'm alone, could die of boredom you know.)
5: Don't panic.
6: Don't oversleep! By the Gods - NO
7: Be super excited!

 

And finally I can also say :  IT'S HAPPENING TOMORROW !!!
Though some people are already there - meeting up tonight. Others, like me - Need to work another day.
Please send me a wink from the party. Wink, videos and pictures - so I can kind of be there with you :)
 I will be with you from over here.

And Thursday - Prepare for attacking hugs. I am just like that, and I'm sorry for invading peoples intimate zones with my presence. (LOL, dear God, I'm such a werido. . .) 
I apologize in advance, also for me being face-blind and unable to remember face and names. Please forgive me if I should remember you, and don't say hi - I am NOT ignoring you. I'm just stupid :p 

 

So, all the awkwardness aside.
See you tomorrow, and I can't wait to get in the game again. 

 

To those who struggling . . .

 . . . with something.

 

I just felt an instant urge to give an extra thought to people who struggles with small or big things in their life.
We all go through difficult times, some more than others. Some people are open about it, others are not. Some people hide it well, pretending everything is fine, while in the reality: From the inside out - they are torn apart. Nobody knows.

Many of us 'suffer' in silence, never bother telling anyone - because we don't want to be a burden or a pin in the side. Many of us keeps telling ourselves the bitter lie we force us to believe: ''It will be alright'', I don't have a problem, I don't need help. All I need is just some sleep, a vacation, a drink, a night on the town. . . .
We hide in a dark corner, away from people, away from life. We don't want to be a burden.

For various reasons we have our things. I do to. Mostly I'm open with my things, but not with everything. Because it's hard to talk about feelings. You don't know how people will react to it, what will they think? Will they think and treat you differently if they knew everything? Or will it be a relief, just to let everything go and stop worrying?
I love to believe the last thing is the correct answer, but I can't say I will lead by example there.  

Sometimes I wish I could be there for everyone. Just be there, give a hug, cook waffles and make a cup of tea and be the friend who can lift the spirit for just a moment. We don't have to talk or do anything in fact. Would just love to be there to show them that - they are not alone in this world. People loves you.
I would love to be that friend. I know my energy level is not inexhaustible, and I will get tired, I admit - but I would love to keep it going as long as possible, non the less.


My point with this post was just that :  I think of you today. I have many people close to me who could need a extra hug from time to time. And I just want you to know that - I really care for you and want you to be happy. That's all I want - people close to me to be happy, calm and at peace. 
I think of you today, and though we don't always talk or see each other regularly, just know that time is precious, time is free: I have time. 

I love you, and remember: I will always find and see the good things in you, if you want it or not. 
 

 

Female witcher - drawing

Hey- ho 

A female, brave witcher this time.

Such beautiful hair. . . 



 

Drawing - Witchers


Needed to do one more before the larp again :) 




Tiny picture. o.0 

 

Witcher school journey 2017- packing preperations

So. I start early...

Not really packing, just thinking practically, since I know I will stress with it the day before.

So .

Some stash from my night table.
Yes. I got inspired by the witcher school to redecorate everything in the house.

But The boots.
My new boots. I need a plan because they are waaay to large for me. Like: I cant run with them... unless I add some thick socks!!!

x3

3 thick socks + normal socks and Im close! The boots sits ... better...

Thats my plan and solution for today.
Bring a lot of socks!!

Im glad I kind of start packing today- the chance of forgetting important things is smaller if I can add something everyday.

Witcher School journey, March 2017 - #2 - One week left in the real world.

Just one week left.
I can't believe it, it is suddenly so difficult to imagine me be back at the castle, doing witcher stuff again - so soon.
It's hard to imagine that I should start packing soon, planning what I should wear and how I am gonna manage 20kg luggage code as a LARPER.
I failed miserably last time with 23 kg, and I did buy a ticket without luggage on top of that . . . results - used 1500 NOK before even leaving the country (Taxi and fee.)

 Any time now my character sheet will come. I'm so curious on what challenges I should be preparing for this time, and I love to just put everything in the writers hands, not knowing anything about my fate, future or changes I will need to do. I will play on it, and that's what it's all about. :) 
Some people love to write and create their own character from scratch to finish. I'm not like that. I'm more like: 
- Give me something to do, and I'll do it.
F U N 

And of course, I make up my own personality between the plots and sub plots. And now I had 6 months thinking of something, and I will try it out, and build on it. It's gonna be so fun. 

In one small week I can continue my characters journey at the Witchers School. 
In one week I will meet many of my friends again. And meet new people, and play with as many people I can. 
In one week I'm no longer the weird one - we all are. And, how I love it.
In one week there is no such thing as reality and real life. . . just for a few days. 

 

So funny. People who are attending keep posting countdowns now. Some say it both 5 or 6 days left. Guess there are some lucky bastards out there who can leave for Poland before others. 
I'm one of those sorry others. I will arrive 12:30 on THURSDAY, missing the pre - meetup - party -.-  But in stone age Norway, they decided that there is no planes to Wroclaw that day. Period.
It's sad because it was so nice last time. Gah, well. I'm staying for the after party though, lets hope many people can attend that one too.


So. One week left. Oh, man. (sipping tea and bite fingernails)
Why am I still shocked?
I know the first thing I'm gonna do when I get there (after greetings and such) - Hug the big tree - I have done it once, now its a tradition. I would dance barefoot around it also, if It was not like - winter - 

The tree I'm talking about it over there ------> out of the picture of course.

I even miss running to that monument. Se that white thingy in the far end? That's a pretty fine monument of something. . . Its further away than it looks.



_______________________________________________________



This time I'm not (that) nervous, beside one thing: I have 30 min. to reach the Wroclaw plane in Denmark. There is NO room for any delays! 
*Prays, please no delays, please, please* 

Hold me- Drawing - process

 

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3

4




 

Drawing - Elf under Torture -

Yeah. . . 

Its a scene from the story. . . or an attempt on it at least ;) 



 

Witcher School 2017 - March #1

(Warning, wall off text) 

Can't believe this is happening. I just can't.



I knew ever since last run in September that I can't go in March, because it's gonna be to expensive so close up to everything else that is gonna happen this spring. I knew there was no way, because I don't even have more vacation-days left from work.
I have been SO sad about this, because I REALLY- REALLY wanted to go, and I did everything to avoid listen to people talk about the next coming event. I was so jealous! 
Imagine when they start sharing the photos?! *PAIN* 

And. And. AND then : Magic happens! 
(Heartbeat is just killing me while writing this. I am so happy.) 

 

A friend I met from the previous school posted that there is 3 free tickets available! And I should ask for one.
My first though was: How sweet of you, but I can't. . . #Whine
Then the crazy part of me woke up with a: ''I could take a few phone calls. What is there to loose?''
So I talked to the Witcher school epic boss, asked if this actually was true, and if he just could put a ticket aside while I took some phonecalls, which were no problem! 
So I called home, I called work, I called a few colleagues, home again to be sure. . . . And - more magic happens. My sweet colleagues steps quickly up with a: Yes, I can take your shift this and that day, no problem. 
I: NO WAY (almost crying of joy!)
And from there I just went beserk mode. 
A few moments later Tickets were bought, character formed filled out, transport form filled out. Today - hotel booked - and documentations printed out.


Im even a Gwent-card ( made by Fain Maca ) <3 

I am so happy that it hurts, literally, it hurts.
Already borrowed a larp sword, and ordered print for my characters ''romance card''. Suddenly 6 months turned down to 14 days!  Can you believe it!?

Why, how can all these good things happen to me over and over again. I don't deserve this - why, how ?! How can I be so lucky. What have I ever done? 


So. As you can tell, I am very excited, traveling on the Hype-train now. Again.
I feel like I just left Belgium where I met many people from the larp, just because I missed them so much, and I though I had to go there since I won't see them anytime soon  . . and now its  just 2 weeks until I see them all again, not 6 months. 14 DAYS!



I can't wait to put on Bodils costume again, be her again,  and do all these crazy Witcher things again. 
I can't wait to meet all my new friends again, meet new people whom I might also call friends, and interact with as many people as possible. I can't wait to explore Kaer Marter in winter time. (September in Poland was summer 20+ Now I have seen picture containing snow!)

I can' go on forever just talking rubbish, and it still can't express my happiness. 
I am weird, I know. The happier I get, the more weird I get. Just deal with it.  

 


(I even drew my whole team) 


So, I'll shut up with this:

23-26th March I will be back in Poland - at Moszna Casle - and live the fantasy-life I always dreamed of when I was a child- teenager- adult.
(I never grow up) 
So, this is so much more than a LARP. So, so much more.





Forever grateful again.
Looking so forward to panic packing, hanging on the airport, be scared on the plane, getting lost, be a tourist of Wroclaw, dancing around the great oak before gameplay, and hug so, so so many people!

Love, 

So, me vs Photoshop

I had to prepare something for the next Witcherschool larp.

It involved me dressing up as my character, a ton of makeup, a chellphone-cam, photoshop (with no experience) some drawing, and fighting all that awkwardness. 

And here is the results.

For beeing the first time, Im happy with it :)


Present: Bodil De Virsing ( me) 
 



It was originally a window and a modern chair instead of the books behind me there.... XD

Koselig avslag

Nå må jeg gå norsk. Ikke sjans jeg gidder å oversette dette til engelsk.

Men, se! 

Forlaget har lest alt ( to manus, som er ganske lange), og de har gitt utfyllende svar tilbake. Jeg er mer enn fornøyd. Ble til og med litt inspirert til å skrive videre. Hadde nesten glemt at jeg hadde sendt noe til dem, faktisk.
Skrivelysten har vært død i LANG tid nå, men kjekt å få en vekker.

Dette skrev de: 
 fra Mangscho forlag,

 

''Utgangspunktet for Den forviste alveprinsen er en fin og klassisk idé om den unge helten som ikke trives hjemme ? her svært tydelig med det vanskelige forholdet til faren ? og som reiser ut i verden for å gjennom mange prøvelser for å finne seg selv.

Magiplaneten Pellapella (Merethe bryter inn: Navnet er endret til Makt av Magi siden den gang,) tar oss med til en ukjent planet og to interessante raser, Myktere og Flyktere, og en voldsom og krevende magi som danner grunnlaget for den videre maktkonflikten i historien.

Det er vår vurdering at du bygger opp interessante univers og bruker velkjente strukturer på en fin måte. Historiene er i stor grad gjennomgarbeidet, og ditt engasjement for sjangeren er tydelig. Dessverre har vi likevel kommet frem til at det er for langt frem med tanke på utgivelse hos oss. Fantasysjangeren er en spennende, men krevende sjanger med lesere med høye forventinger, og vi er et lite forlag som kun utgir et begrenset antall titler hvert år. Nåløyet for å bli antatt blir derfor ekstra trangt, og bare noen ytterst få slipper gjennom. Vi ser at vi ikke har anledning til å arbeide videre med dine manus, og takker derfor nei til å stå for utgivelse av Den forviste alveprinsen og Magiplaneten Pellapella.''

 

 

 

Avslag er ikke så gale så lenge en får noe igjen for det :) 

 

Poem.

Hands on cheek,
nose to nose.
Heartbeat drums,
you are close

Kiss on lips,
face to face.
Gods and angles,
what a praise.

Love is unconditional,
love is strong.
Kisses are powerfull,
so please, don't prove me wrong.

-M

Drawing - Another witcher

LArgest project yet, and I did not even complete it.
Just have no more motivation to go on. Took two weeks already.

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 2



 

Witcher meetup in Belgium.

So.

Now:  Sitting alone on the airport Cobenhagen waiting for my final flight back home.
I have spent the weekend in Belgium.

Reason:  Meet people I met from Witcher school in September  (larp)

Now I truly understand what the mean when they say that there is the people they miss the most after a witcher school event.

I have never seen anything grow so fast as this.
How everyone instantly bond after a few days, and it keep growing.
The chemistry between us is just magical.

This friday I travelled to Belgium to meet some of them. (16people in total ) Someone I knew very well, other not so much. But after this weekend I have even more friends.
And damn how I love them!

There was so much laugher, good stories, crazyness and more.
We did everything from: Restaurants, bar to bar, sightseeing in Brussels, cafes, boardgames, and talking.  . . Lots of talking and witchertalking.

These crazy geeky people are getting so important to me. everyone is so different yet not. We have things in common and that is what makes this possible.

A huge thanks to every witcher out there who makes these invites possible. They open their houses and offer so much og their time to make it possible that people from different countries can gather up and be together.

Huge thanks to Jonas and Jeremy for this weekend. You did hell of a work, and damned how you succeded. At least for my part.
You saw everyone. And Im sure everyone felt as welcome and taken care of, as I did.

Epick thanks to everyone really. Thanks for making this weekend the best. and thank YOU for beeing that person YOU are!!
Never doubt what an amazing person YOU are. Im so glad I met everyone I met this weekend. And I really hope to see you again in September.

Its less than a year. So I guess I can wait, though it will be hard.

To everyone who arrange witcher school meetups around the world: Thank you.
If I could, I would gladly attend everyone of them! ! Because there is so many more people I would like to meet again.

One at the time I guess.
Thank you for inviting me. . . I am truly honoured and I cried at the airport, saying goodbye for the 4th time.
Thank you so much Bart for offering 30minutes ( plus trafficjam) of your time to draw me back to the airport.
You are too kind!

I could thank everyone in the enternal.. but I am writing this from the phone and Its awful, but neccecary, because my brain cant focus if I dont get this out.

Special thanks to the other members of the Claws attending. You have a special place in my heart <3

Bah. Babbeling.
I am at the airport as I sayd. I am dead tired, sad but also very satisfied. This weekend has been perfect! Just perfect.
Every word, smile, laugher, story you shared with me is a part of it.

I treasure this forever. Treasure new friendship. No borders, sea or moutian can prevent that.

Painfully tired.

1st: It has been an awesome reenactment weekend! 
(Downside: Little sleep.)

Super downside: Little sleep night to Monday, due to convoy over the mountain. Took 3.5 hours extra.  (I was in good company though).
I was home at 02:35, and had to get up at 06:45 again the next day.
Work.
I got up 07:07.
Gave me 3.57 hrs sleep IF I managed to fall asleep at the very same moment I saw the pillow. I did not.

 

So.
Here I am, at work, in physical pain because of tiredness. I feel dizzy,nauseous, uncomfortable and unfocused on my task.
I have called of today's piano recital, and will do no workout after work.
The only plan I have for the day, is : Sleep until role-game (D&D pathfinder) begins later this evening, perhaps only get up to eat.

Two hours has passed at work, and I am literally all worn out already, and have no idea how I am gonna get through this day. It is of course really busy too.

 

 

A man is smart

Ha ha ha ha. 



 

I did read this in his voice, so badly! 

Olgierd von Everec - drawing- Process

Finally done.

 

1


Just this part tok several hours.

 2 

This is the ''quick'' part. Won't even think about the detail part coming soon.

3

Ok, fun part first - the face. 

4


Ok, lets do this. . . One piece at the time. . . one small piece at the time -.-

MANY hours later!

 

5 and Done



 

 

Worth the frustration, and Im happy with the results.
Olgierd von Everec is a cool character in The Witcher 3 expation - Heart of Stone  (Game) 

 

Let me know what you think :) 

Shitloads of facts about me.

 

 

 

1: Because I'm bored.

 


2: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
- Spiders : Always been afraid of those ugly bastards. So afraid I can't get close to them, or kill them. I run, or flee the room. 
- Planes : It's better than it was, but there is no joyride. I prefer travel by car or train if I have that option. Takeoff and landing are the worst part, and of course turbulence.
- Ok, this is a strange/Ironic one : Getting pregnant. (Afraid to loose another child in miscarrying.)

3: Describe your realationship with your parents.
- Very good and healthy one, I would say.

4: List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

  1.  You are good enough.
  2. You are loved.
  3. You will not end up alone.
  4. Someone will find you, and fall in love with you. Yes, you. Only you. Because you are good enough. You are pretty.
  5. There is a girl called Mai in Trondheim. Find her!
  6. Be your self, because people like you. Open your eyes.
  7. Don't be afraid to say no. Listen to your heart.
  8. Don't quit swimming.
  9. Draw more.
  10.  Buy a sword and join Kongshirden. You are old enough to join now. Your best friends will be there, waiting for you. And they will not leave you.

5: What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now? 

  1.  Music on the radio.
  2. Peace
  3. Love
  4. Tea
  5. I have a job, indoor. 

6: What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced.
- When my dog got cancer tumor!
- Also 2 miscarriages was pretty damn hard.
- A past of bullying can't even be compared.


Kera is comforting me. . . Just got the news that it was cancer, and very hard to cure. ( BUT THEY DID IT- SHE GOT CURED... IM SO HAPPY <3 ) 
 

7: What is your dream job, and why?
- He he. Silly, but would love to be an actress or work as a veterinarian.
Because i love being on a stage, act. And I love animals above everything else.

8: What are five passions you have? 

  1. Drawing
  2. Singing, piano, music
  3. Writing
  4. Reanactment 
  5. Larp

10: List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

  1. Jesus - Because He is perfect. Im not, but trying to be the best I can be.
  2. Mum - Because without here I would not even been here.
  3. Dad - Dad is cool, and so am I !
  4. Mai - Best friend gets me in all kind of trouble ;) 
  5. Kera - Teach me to be supercute!
  6. Anders - Teach me morals, and saves me all the time.
  7. Witchers - Teach me the real fun of the world. Makes me do crazy things like travel to Europe alone, to play at a castle. . . 
  8. Friends - I can't pick. 
  9. Friends - You just make me feel truly alive.
  10. More friends - I need you in my life.

10: Describe your most embarrassing moment.

I scanned a drawing of a half-naked man to a guy at work. . . by a mistake, I was to scan it to my self. . . 

 

11: Describe a typical day in your current life.

Wake up at 06:45, go to work. Stay there till 16:00. Go to the gym. Walk the dog. Eat dinner. Play 30min. piano. Draw or play a game on the x-box. (Or hang out with friends) 

12: Describe 5 weaknesses you have.

  1. Temptations
  2. Pepsi Max
  3. Elves
  4. Hot dudes in games
  5. Puppies

13: Describe 5 strength you have.

  1. I have patience.
  2. I'm stubborn.
  3. I don't give up.
  4. I care about people.
  5. I fight my battles.

14: If you were an animal, what would be and why? 
- Hmmm. A bird. Then I can pretend people don't exist.

15: What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

  1. Black Sails actor, Zach McGowan used my drawing as his Twitter profile-picture. . .  *drool* 
  2. My fantasy-book got published!
  3. Kera is always my greatest accomplishment
  4. I'm a witcher, survived the trial of grasses!
  5. I become a vegan.





 

16: What is the one thing you most wish you were great at? 

- Super talented in drawing.

17: What has been the most difficult thing you ever had to forgive? 

Hmm, I don't really know. I think of my self as a forgiving person. And the fact that I can't think of anything that brutal, must be a good sign, yes? 
I can rather think of people having hard time to forgive me for things I have done to them o.0 
Well, yeah. I was bullied in my teens - It took some time before I could let it go, and forgive them. . . but, how else can I move on with my life if I should keep living in the past. Let it go, and move on. 
If that was the hardest thing to forget, no. I don't think so. I. . . oh, yeah I have one. Everytime someone said something nasty about Kera and think I don't know about it.( Jealousy drama in the dogshow business sickens me. . . stop being so fucking stupid, and start loving your own dog instead of picking on others.)  That pisses me of so much, you have no idea. Don't pick on my dog, she is innocent!
That makes me feel sad for the person and that persons dogs. 


 

18:  If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? 

- Kaedwen. In the world of the Witchers. Because this world is no where to be. 

19: List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.

  1. Drawing - Been my passion since I first held a pencil.
  2. Choir - Found out that this is really fun in 2011. Can't imagine a life without it now.
  3. Reanactment- been in my life since 2005. Learning new things everyday, and still love this so much. Not to mention all the good people I met though this hobby.
  4. LARPING, I was skeptic in the beginning, but now I experienced so much through this, so I need more . The bigger events, the better! Because of the people!
  5.  Writing fantasy stories. 


20: What is your favorite part of the day, and why? 

- The evenings, when everything is done and I can just lay back and do what I want/ chill.

21: What is your love language? 

- Wait, what? What does that mean? 
I speak Norwegian, but I have a soft spot for French. (Not that I can speak French, its just pretty to listen at. Also Swedish- on men only -) 

22: What do you think people misunderstand about you? 

Hmmm, don't know. Something around the fact that I'm Christian, maybe. Or my views on being a vegan, or something about my thoughts about abortion, or general political topics. I prefer to avoid discussing over internet. I need my body-language to prevent exactly that : Misunderstandings.

23: List 10 things you hope to be remembered for.

  1. Kindness
  2. Love for animals
  3. Good deeds
  4. Understanding
  5. Drawing
  6. Dog things
  7. Passion for this and that
  8. Being a friend.
  9. Being there
  10. For being me.





 

Olgierd - Drawing process- 1/4 down

 Face down, rest to go.

And now, with checklist!


#Olgierd #Thewitcher3 #Drawing #Fanart #Sketch #Heartofstone

Game of Thrones in one sentence



I could not resist. Whoever made this, deserves a medal! 

Ha ha.

Short hair :)

Had short hair for 2 months now, and went to the hairdresser yesterday to get it fixed again. It got even shorter . . . and I absolutely LOVE it! 

It's so refreshing. 
No more pony-tale ( I always used that anyways. Could not stand to wear it down anyways.) 

 

Before



 

Now



:) 

Brienne - Tormund scenes (Game of Thrones)

Ah, I found my favorite - not- confirmed love couple in Game of Thrones.

Just look at them! 



 


Just look at the gazes. Someone have butterflies.
Its so awkward and yet so funny and cute.

 

Sketch update - Olgierd

Update on Olgierd ( Heart of Stone - The Witcher) 



Im quite happy with him, so far :)

Sketch - Olgierd

Witcher sketch witch will take weeks....



This character is just so perfectly created in the game. What a story attached to all that hotness... mmmm...

Lither og Thryg -- Drawing -Process



 

 

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Still think LIther look better on this than the final one.
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Poem.

Memory

 

Today, two-thousand-eleven,
a tiny something found its way to heaven.
You where there, ready to grow.
I was your protector, or at least I thought so.
Coincidences is an unfair game,
she picked me and that darken my name.

It?s a memory hard to forget,
A day of pain, stuffed with regret.
Fate. It?s strange,
how quickly everything can change.
I lost you with the blink of an eye,
I never got a chance to say good-bye.

 



Sometimes one just need to be poetic about everything.

Failures only I can do.

#1 


07:43   

- Go on your bus.
- Go off the same bus at once, because you think its the wrong one.
- Realize when its gone that it was the right one after all.
- 15 minutes to the next one.
- Get ten minutes late for work. 

 

I'm not even THAT tired. 
Must be the age.

Ha ha.
Have a nice day!

Sketch

Nothing but a sketch.



Character design 
Lither and Thryg, again.

Properly discussing something - important - or not at all.
Keeping staring competition with eachorther is after all their thing.

So, speaking about writing, were are we?

*Sigh* 

It's been hard. It's not just a period, because it's been hard for months. 
I honestly have no progress. I don't enjoy it, I don't feel like I'm going anywhere, I have no inspiration nor motivation to bother continue.

6744 words in my fifth book - and it's just not working. The story is OK and I would love to continue it, but I don't feel like working on it, or anything else.

I look at my works and wonder what to do with them. What now? 
I know they aren't good enough for publishing, and I don't really feel like opening the documents to rewrite them - again. The glow has died, completely. 
The market is so tiny, and the directors demands are so high. 

It's frustrating.
I will properly fight to complete this project I have started, rush it even. . . and I think that will be my last. 
At this stage there is just nothing more to give. 

Perhaps I should just focus on the things I'm good at : Drawing, and draw my stories instead. Not like a cartoon, but as scene pictures or something.
I always enjoyed drawing more anyways.


But still: Very frustrating when the inspiration just fades away, and you just know that's is. It won't change, because I felt this before.
 Expectations freaks me out, kills the relaxing fun about just creating something. People keep asking me how the sales of the first book went, how the writing is going and when the next books come out. . . I just honestly don't want to answer, because its not going well.

- The publisher will not pay me (since they don't have money I got payed in books, witch I have stored at my home, no idea what to do with them.)
- I have books for the total value of 10'000 NOKS, its a lot.
- I don't know if there will be any more books. I work with it, but its hard when you just don't want too.
 
In the beginning when I literally just wrote crap, it was passionate and fun.
Now, I know more. I learned more, write better and all that, but. . . : Every word is work, and the passion is not there. Sadly.

 

 

Today's whining. I'm sorry.
 

Vegan Swaps!

Oh, this is to important not to share! 

We don't starve! ;) 


Avocadoooo! Gosh I love that so much <3 

Les mer i arkivet » Mars 2017 » Februar 2017 » Januar 2017
Lithanna

Lithanna

30, Bergen

En tegne/trene og skriveblogg. Jeg kommenterer ikke på andre blogger. Interesser: Tegning, skriving, dyrevelferd, hund, trening, reanactment, laiv, spill, sang og kor. I Juli 2015 fikk jeg min første fantasybok publisert. ''Klanen''

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