Drawing and a new tatto

Tattoo: Larp related
Witcher sign -Axii
Claws, represent my group on Witcher School larp. (friendship and shit)

Really love the simple design around it and how well made it is:)

Drawing : character design -Lither

Drawing- Oberyn fanart

Follow me on Twitch

I finally got a new and MUCH better computer, which means I can actually try live streaming (again). Last time I tried I had to give up because of way to much lag.
It's kind of ironic, but I don't really know why I do this. I personally dislike people watching me while I draw, and it has always been like that since I was a child, at school and courses, and so on. Every time a teacher leaned over to watch I dropped my pen and could not do anything before he/she moved on to the next victim.
I don't know why, but it just feels like they are trying to look for mistakes, and I get embarrassed, because - I am no professional. I just like what I do.
It's the same with drawing together with others. I just can't concentrate. I need and want to be alone in my own room, otherwise its a lost cause.

Anyways. Lately people have asked why I don't do live-steam, and with me it is like this: Ask enough times, I will eventually say yes, and try.
Which in many case is a bad thing! Also why you should respect people when they say 'no', once :p 
Again: It might lead to better things, because if you never try - you can never know!
The best part was when Anders told me yesterday that he told another guy that I draw, and he told him that I should stream. Ha ha. I feel popular :p

I have streamed two times now, and I kind of like it. Especially when people talk to me :p 
I like talking.

But also. Its drawing, SLOWLY drawing. So I totally get how boring it is watching that. Later I can try make timelaps thingy, so you can see a drawing in 2 minutes in stead of two days. But, later.

Here is my Twitch account page: https://www.twitch.tv/lithanna
Follow, share, like, ignore : Your choice.
But I hope to see you there :) 



NOR: Jeg drar tegne verden min videre ut i verden. Vil du se hvordan jeg arbeider? 
Følg meg på livestream - Twitch : Her

Drawing - elf on the shelf


Don't want to sleep.

Ever felt it? When you just don't want to go to bed because you know how fast time will pass when you sleep, which also means that you need to get up from bed quicker.
It don't make any sense, but this week has been like that. I don't wanna sleep, and I also have problems falling asleep. It's not uncommon for me to be awake one hour extra after I got to bed. I could be tired, but I can't sleep. It's annoying. I don't feel like I am thinking about special things either, but my brain is definitely working.

Last night I closed my eyes and could think of :

-''what am I gonna do the first morning when I have visitors over to my house. Would they like waffles for breakfast, coffee, or perhaps they just want to sleep until noon?''
- '' If this and that happens at work tomorrow, I will say this.''
- '' Or do that. . .'' 
- '' I am getting a tattoo next week!''
-''I need to sleep. Why am I not sleeping.''
-'' I should have done that differentely''
-'' Why did I say that, 6 months ago. If I just did this instead, or said that it would been better''
- ''I failed.''
 - ''No, I did not. I am doing great!'
- '' Oh, they have pepsi Max on glass flasks!''
- '' I can't wait to meet my best friend again next month.''
- '' I wonder where my book is?'' 
- '' No, don't check facebook, now. You should sleep.''
-' Kera! I love you so much.''
-'' I need to turn around. I can't sleep on this side, even if Kera is there.'' 

All this was actual thoughts running through my head yesterday between 00:45 - 01:15 I think I fell asleep somewhere between 01:15-01:30 
And then the morning came. 
It's hard getting back to a hectic everyday life with work and grown up commitments.

But, soon weekend with no plans. YAY!


Dream - hug - what does it mean?


Dreams are fun/or not, if you can remember them. I rarely do, but today I do, since I dreamed it just 5 minutes before I woke up.
I dreamed about hugs, and it was so wonderful. I love hugs.
Giving and receiving hugs.

I won't say I am very into dream interpretation or horoscopes, but I find it entertaining and inspiring to read about what it can mean anyways. 
There have been episodes in the past when I dreamed about snakes several days in a week, where it said I should be aware of that something challenging will happen in my life, and I had to handle it on my own, my friends could not help me in that exact situation.
This happened to be true (got dumped, and a long story attached. This was more than 10 years ago, so. . no worries)

Anyways back to hugs. 

''Å drømme at du klemme noe(n), foreslår at du trenger å gjøre mer plass til andre ting. Du må slutte å dvele ved dine tidligere følelser og fjerne dem bort. Alternativt kan det bety at du setter den ?presse? på noen. Du eller noen kan føle presset eller stresset. Drømmen kan også være et ordspill på ?main klem? eller din kompis. Hva prøver dine drømmer å fortelle om forholdet.''

''To dream that you hug something(one) suggests that you need to make more room for other things. You must stop dwelling on your past feelings and remove them. Alternatively, it may mean that you put "a pressure" on someone. You or someone may feel the pressure or stress. The dream can also be a pun on "main hug" or your friend. What are your dreams trying to tell you about the relationship''

Another article basically sums up this : Actually, any hugging in a dream often first of all means that a dreamer simply needs a warmth of human contact, support and help of close people.

Read the whole article here

You can mean and think whatever you like about dreams and such, but one thing is true: We all dream, some are sweet, other, not so much, some are confusing, others, very obvious. 
It's interesting how the brain works when we can't control it.
There is also this thing as daydreaming - I do that a lot XD

New year, new plans


Happy new year.

They year has barely started, and I have already made some. . . well, a lot of plans for the first part of the year.

First of all. Brutal start getting up at 06:45 -  prepare for a busy day at work. The last week it has been quiet and calm, and now its full action on all fronts.
I better refill my  teacup and do my best to keep up.
But now when I am here, it's fine. Just take one thing at the time, and remember to breathe, then it will all be fine.

Secondly. PLANS! So many plans! 

1st - Shopping: I was on a shopping spree new years eve. While others are getting drunk, toss away thousands of coins on the town, I decided to go online shopping and bought some larp stuff. (Witcherschool I blame you) 
I bought a cool musketeer-hat, and a wide larp-pants. I'll show pictures later when I get them. 
- Also awaiting a new computer of decent quality during this week. CAN'T wait. Finally I can try streaming and even play (online)games . . . woooah!
Needless to say, thousands of NOKS has been spend in a week. We're not rich, but just damn good at saving!
-Witcher School in June, hotels and travels have been payed for and I just need to pack my bags and go. Just need to wait.

2nd. - Education:  I finally signed up for a beginner Polish class course!  I have been thinking about it for a while, but everyone know that nothing happens by thinking. I just did it.
So already next month I will start my weekly Polish course for 3 months. If I like it, I will continue on level 2. The course promised me that by the end of the course (In May) I will be able to say short sentences in Polish. So that suits me perfectly since I am going back in June.
My accent will most likely be terrible, but hopefully understandable. That's my goal. Well, after being able to order a vegan pizza, of course.

3rd - Visitors :  EEEP, its just 31 days until the witcher meetup happens, in Bergen, here, with me! People from the wide Europe will attend. Travel all this way to rainy Bergen, stay the weekend /+ and explore, drink, eat good food, hang out and just have a great time. I can't wait. And there is not a day going by when I stop and think about this. How to plan the days effectively, and so on. I am so blessed with fantastic people all over the world. What a privilege! 

4th- New tattoo plans : Yes. It's time to ink my body again. I've been thinking for too long. Now I need to do it. I have been trying to get in touch with the local tattoo shop without luck during Christmas holidays. But I will try daily after work until I get through. It's my closest neighbor from work. (Dangerous) 
I have an idea, and I will show it when its done. But, it will be something witchery :) Because YES - It means something to me, as all my (2) tattoos does.

5th - Vinter:  Norways biggest training weekend in western style fighting happens in Feb. And I am ready to attend and to meet great people from all Scandinavia and perhaps further away as well:) 


There. Something for the coming months. I'm sure there will be more. Knowing me right.
Still, I need to try to relax as much as possible when I am not doing anything. He he. I need to get to bed early again, had problems with falling asleep the last week.

But, oh. I am ready to hit this new year! :)

Drawing- Witcher me with a master + process

Draw your own character some said.
I was very strick and always refused right away, because I don't like drawing myself, at all. Ony done it a few times in the past because school forced me too. There is a reason why these pictures don't excist.

Yet, here I am. I did it. And let me make it clear. It will ve a LONG time until next time. Haha.

Bodil with her master, and in almost full profile. It's basically everything I dont like in one picture.
Well I like drawing men, and faces. Ha ha. That's about it.

I accepted a challenge though. Now I will drink Pepsi Max and be proud of myself for completing after...uhm.. I've been drawing since 12 today, with only dinner break in between.
Damn... It's 8 and a half hours.
I stared yesterday,



But ended up better than I feared :) 
(I added makeup to my face... the original makeup was not in the referencepicture... so I look very tired and awful on it to be honest...) haha
It was 04:00 in the morning when this picture was taken, so....I blame that :3 


Drawing - Character design- Ley

Drawing- witcher master -

Witcherschool - Larp - 2018 - #1

Long live the hype. Now you guys have to live with this for another 6 crazy months. . . again. . .
Dates and tickets for our next events have been published.

And different from last runs: We'll end up in the other castle! Grodziec, in June, not March as Im used to.

But damn: Just picture epic castle AND summer, surrounded by the best of the best!!
God, I am so lucky, there is just no other words for it. I am so lucky to be a part of this, and...

Also, not that I am early out, or made my own Witcher School saving account one year ago. . . But I have bough flight tickets and booked hotel for my larp week in Poland next june.
I am prepared and ready! So so soooo ready!

170 days from now, seems unbaerable, but I know I can make it- I just have too. No choice, really. He he.

Gaaaaah. so june it is.
I am So happy I arranged a witcher meetup in Bergen in feb. now.
Makes the missing of great people doable.
Still room for many more witchers, so don't hesitate! Come to Bergen, come to Norway. :)
2-4 th. February 2018. (Or as long as you wish)

Anyways.  I just wanted to say this is happening again.
And because I was early out, I got a good price on the flights.
Also just one plane switch in between. . . Its amazing, instead of 3, as before. Big change for me who dont really enjoy flying.

Ah, witchers in the sun. . . I'm in love already!

And, oh.

June makes perfect for doing anything bare footed - dancing in the grass, or just kicking the boots of for whatever reason. It is so beautiful and extremely comfortable.

If there is any grass there, that remains to be seen.

Anyways- May you have the best Christmas,you ALL of you :)

2017- sum up

The year of 2017 has a few weeks left, but I will do the sum up now anyways. I doubt to much exciting will happen, well apart from Christmas with my family. Looking forward to that. Will be super cosy! 

This year have been a rollercoaster to put it lightly. When at the top, it has been nothing but amazing and wonderful. When at the bottom, well, needless to say that it has been a struggle on a whole new level. And then we have everything in between.

Overall, though it might not seem like it: It has been more good days than bad days. The bad days takes so much space, you know. Consumes everything, you know.



Nothing much happened. Well, I learned Magic the Gathering that month. Addicted to it now :) 

Drawing of Januar.

Was a good month. Starting with fixing my haircut :)

Best drawing of the month goes to Olgierd.

And then a very well/fun trainingweekend got me a bleeding cut over me nose.

Then I ended up in Belgium for a witchermeetup. So many good people showed up.
Great fun.

With Alisa (Grandmaster) and Vanessa.  :) 


Short hair needs to be maintained. Got shorter.

Also. Highlight!
Witcherschool (Again) happens in March. Was a very big hype, since I thought I could not attend, but then I made it, after all!
I was so happy I could go, and it was ofc. epic, as always :) 
Here, posing with the Claws and x-Claws


I went shopping! 

Vanessa was the best drawing of the month.

I also went skiing! 


Choir trip to Iceland was pretty decent :) 

We also had a taste of summer.

Then it was 17th. May, our national day. Time to celebrate! :D 
One of the best days in the year ^_^ 
But already here my mental health was beginning to fail. I did not see it there, but if I think back, it mostly started somewhere here. Not much, but enough to understand that something is not where it should be. But, most likely the whole thing started already back in 2011 when I had my first miscarriage. Though I went to therapy, I never processed it and ended that chapter the way it should. I just kept going, trying to tell myself it's ''nothing'', Im fine. And  that also means everything else happening.
Everything from bulling in school, to changing schools, to low selfesteem, to stress with work and the changing of workplaces, to illness and personal pressure to trying to be everywhere and help/reach out to everyone's need. Always terrified of never being good enough or be looked at as bad friend.
You know, all these small and big happening in life that you think pass by, but don't really do. I'd just carried them, and did not know before the bubble broke. More on that later.

And speaking of sad things. This is the last picture of the last Degus of the family. We had 9 at the most. Lately they passed away one after the other. They where lucky enough to get old. These two was 7 and 8 years old. The one to the left is Hero, the dad of the family. Got a cancer tumor on his forhead. The other one is one of the babies. She was healthy.
Non of them in pain. . . for the moment.
It was a hard choice, since to keep 1 degu is torture, since they get depressed being alone. And the other one was just a matter of question before the tumor and cancer took over, and I would hate to see him that Ill. He was also to old to go through an operation. 
So the choice ended up with letting them both go together. Took them to the vet, and they literally told us how they did it.
Gassed them after they where put to 'sleep', so they wont feel anything. Comforting.

Mays drawing was Barbara.


Move on to June.

Discussing important matters. Totally not about what chips is the best chips. Btw look at my awesome hat!

Reenactmentstuff at home. I like this picture, hi hi.

Reenactement stuff not in the city.

And then I got sick. Like fever sick.
Drawing of June


My birthdaymonth! 
But the whole month started epic, with bachelourette party for my best friend. It was such a success, I am so happy everything turned out as it did!

Was summer there too, even.

Drawing of July

Also went hiking at Vidden

And played night elf on a local larp. This is me and the other night elves :) 


The month when everything started going to hell.

I had a lot on my mind this month. . .

So much anger that I decided to run 10km...

Tried to relax a bit on vacation, but was always troubled with thoughts, not of the good ones.

got a new haircut again, and I felt better. . . for a while. . . 

But floof always watches over me.
I mad a good drawing this month though.

The start of september was shit. I've been to the doctor, but did not get another appointment before October, so I had to wait.
Waiting is hard sometimes.
I was shaking while I waited though. Never experienced anything like that before.


Despite everything, I started the month with drawing Jonas :) 

But then. . . Bestfriend had to be wed, so I helped. Was wonderful :) 

After, before travelling back we found a gaming bar and chilled with games, movies and sushi . Quite fine weekend :) 

It was SO good!

Then . .  FINALLY new round of Witcherschool! I'm living it still!

also got this amazing gambeson!
(Made by Oak Stall


Start of pretty brutally, but it has only made me better.
Then I found out that I wanna learn Polish. LOL 

Its on 36% now 

Drawing of the month, Mannon.

No matter how tight things are, always make room for friends.


Make decks, more decks!

Get sick.

And draw

Also. I rode a horse for the first time!

I really enjoyed that :) 
This month I also felt SO much better mentally. It's like a burden lifted of my shoulders. I got answers! 

More answers. I got a diagnosis. Also a burden lifted of my shoulders, though the scary part with getting a diagnosis is to try not to 'act' sick, because a doc. confirms that you actually are. Like, I hope my brains does not fuck things up now with: 
''Oh, yeah. Now you know whats going on - then act sick.'' I really just want to be normal and dont think to much, though I have to think. I have to calm down, and relax more. Say no, more. Stop being so spontanious and such.
Though I am not completely burned out ( I can still work) I am on that path, so I wanna pull the breaks before the train crashes, you know :) 

So its all about, Christmas now. Friends, some choir concert (bit stress,  but I will manage, soon over) Pepsi and gingerbread.

One Christmasparty is over, and one is tomorrow with my beloved reenactor group.


Drawing of December so far: 

Until then. The rest of the year will be Christmas, good food and drinks, calm evenings, and taking Kera to a calm evening with family on new years eve. She cant stand fireworks, so I will try to make the evening as calming as possible for her. Can't leave her that day :) 

I wish you the best December, marry Christmas and happy new Year and all that if I don't speak to you before that :) 
Congratz scrolling through this wall of text XD

Witcher School pictures


New pictures arrived from larpweekend in Poland, Sept 2017.
I am so happy with them. Just look at my cool gambeson <3 
So in love.

Larp: Witcher School. (Based on the Witcher universe)
Photos : Piotr Muller
My character: Bodil De Versing


Taking a moment to rest. Reading poems.

Standing in the line. . . waiting. Im in the back row

My favorite larpdscene so far. They put me face to face with my enemies, and I got a chance to act it out! Love to do it again. 
I am NOT tripping over, I am trying to charge. . .  (with no weapon) 

Listening to annoncement/ or standing in the line for food.

Listening to teacher.

Sparring with my classmate


You should check out their official facebookpage, and join us! 

Diagnosis: Burned out

3.rd appointment with my doc. today, that means this was the day where I could expect to know what my acctual issue is.

He concluded with: Burned out.
I've apparently been under stress for such a long time, and this summer/autum was the final breaking point for me.
He do not wish to put me on medication since in my case it might make it worse.

So I got some techniques to work on in stead, which you might see as me saying more no, to stuff. Also try to not be as spontanious as I used to be. I need to think about things before I decide to do it.
Ect if you ask me to go to the cinema at 8 today, I should say:  I need to think about it, in stead of YES, right way.
Its not because I dont like you anymore, but I just need to focus on myself for a while, to prevent me from falling back.

I hope you understand this, and know that I love you.
And I hope this wont mean that people step away from me, or stop asking me to do things with them.

But, at least now you know :)

Drawing - Commission

Commission only accepted because I like this person to much.
And yes, I am a horrible person when it comes to commissions. I just don't like doing them, and if I do it all depends on my mood, and what is requested.
Sorry, I am a bad person XD 
I just can't handle the pressure coming with ''I'll give you money if you do this. . . '' It just scares me. To afraid to fail and to obest with everything needs to be perfect, and that kills the fun with it.

But enough talking. Here she is :) 

Former blogger as well, and a brilliant one :) 

Drawing - Saither Character design




Saither is one of my characters. He was invented for a bookproject I had/have, an is one of the most interesting characters I have. At least so I think for my own.
Is is purely evil, but still one feel a bit sorry for him non the less - because it's not really his fault.
Not that, one can't like a sadist like him, and his actions can't be defended. . . but he is still cool in his fucked up ways :p 


I feel much better!

August - Shitty, shitty shit-shit! 
November - I'm aliveeee, I feel light, I breathe, I sing, and dance. Life please! 

I just wanted to say that I feel much better. That's all. Still waiting for my next doc. appointement, and I look forward to share some happy thoughts with him. Just to say that: - Hey, you. Guess what? I feel so much better.

And it does. Imagine what 2 hours of more sleep can do in the long run. In the last weeks I've tried to get to bed around midnight instead of 02, and it works. Also, after I changed working place I get (good kind of) tired much earlier, since this new job is way more busy than the other one.

But yes, I feel good, calm, relaxed. I don't wake up exhausted, and I don't walk around feeling lost. I don't cry myself to sleep, but I sleep good at night. I have weird energy to do things I normally don't enjoy, like cooking and baking bread. I wan't to bake bread, just the thought is enough. . . :p 
Also I've apparently started watching TV-series, which I also don't normally do, because I don't have time for it. . But then, make some time to just relax : One episode of something while eating dinner, ect. I can do that, and then I have to sit down and relax under a blanket for 45 min. anyways. It's not so bad :) 

It was just that. Sometimes we just need to share happy stories too.

Also, I was not entierly happy with my last haircut, it was cut the wrong way at the top of my head, so I took a chance and allowed Anders to fix the haircut. . . And I am superhappy with the result. Now it's perfect.

Sometimes it's just not worth 300+ NOKS when you can do it for free at home.

I whish you the best weekend! :) 

Givers and takers

We have all heard the phrase : There are two kind of people in the world, givers and takers.
And I do believe it's fairly true.

Ever since my doc. spoke to me about this thing  a few weeks back it got me thinking and reflecting around serval things, and I feel both stupid and blind because things that I've been blind to is suddenly so clearly.
I have many-many people in my life. People I spend a lot of time with, and people I don't spend time with. 
And, my doc also told me I need to be careful so I don't get burned out, for real, - because I am on that path.
I will talk more about that later, maybe.
By being careful it also means I can't be everywhere. It tires me, mentally and physically. It doesn't mean I don't like people, because I do. I just have to look after myself as my energylevel is not an endless stream, always full of water.

We all are takers from now to then, and that is ok. Or wait, there is a difference between take and receive.
If you get something, then give something back - Unexpectedly. 
Do so because as the meme over says: Give without remembering. Give because you WANT to, not because you need to.
The moment you feel you need to - You will get quickly tired, and the whole purpose is missing it's point.
Give because of love. Simple as that.
(So true)

My first appointment with my doc he already stated that I am a giver. So it's medically stated (hah)
Though I always found happiness and joy to be there for others, do something that can help them, or make them feel better, or happy, or anything really. I like doing that, and because I like it I do it as much as I can. . . but it also tires me. And that is what I need to learn and understand. I can't run around saving the world if my feet stops working. I need to understand that it is OK, to say no, and I should not feel bad for doing so. It's ok to be tired, and it's OK to not show up all the time. 
It's ok, to say: No, sorry. Today I just wanna be home playing on my x-box. And I shouldn't have to explain why. Everyone has their reasons for anything. As do I.
It's all up to the other person to accept it, trust you, respect you.
A taker won't do that. A taker would be offended.  Why did you want to play computergames instead of hanging out with me? 
A taker want your full attention as much as possible. . . a giver get's tired too. A giver can't give forever.

Gah, suddenly it sounds like I am glorifying myself, please don't ever beleive that. I am just bad at explaining.
Let me find an article that explains it better than I do : http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/givers-vs-takers-the-surprising-truth-about-who-gets-ahead/
 Also introducing a third kind of people : Matchers
(If I help you, you need to help me back.) 


I don't know what my point with this post was, other than don't be a taker. Or, don't be a big taker.
Take care of people around you, but don't overdo yourself. Above all, take care of yourself.  (Note to self)

It is rather easy come to think of it. Just do something nice and unexpected for someone once in a while usually do the trick :)  And it feels SO good when you see the respond you get back. The respond and a thank you is sometimes the only thing we need. Not money, glory, fame, things. . .  Just a thanks, a smile.

But no matter what you say/do - Do it because YOU want to, out of love and kindness.

Please ignore if this is bullshit to your eyes, I'm just writing (thinking often happens after I've done things) :p 

Drawing - Vernon Roche and Iorveth +process

WItcher 3 fanart.





Why Polish?

Nie mówię po Polsku.


No, I don't speak Polish, and to be honest. After taking a deeper look into the Polish language I fairy doubt I will manage to say anything more than whishing people a good morning and order a vegan pizza, and a cup of tea.
- Dzień dobry
- Przepraszam, poproszę pizzę wegańska 
- Poproszę herbatę

(It is so unneccesary difficult. Especially for me who almost failed english exams at school. Short to say, languages is not my thing.)
They have seven ways to say a word (even names) all depend on what, who, where, when, to whom, at what time, singular, plural, neuter, masculine, feminie. . .  it never ends, the list just seems to go on and on and on.
It's like German, just crazy.

Why did I get attached to Poland?
Oh. . . I know. And you do too.

So why Polish.
Simple: Why did you learn Spanish, or German, or French next to English? 
Because it's most likely a language you might even use at times. You know, travel around, vacations and stuff where people just speak weirdly :p 

I do realize at this point when I write down all these grammar rules that I seriously could use a actual language course for Polish to fully understand something. But, it is way to expensive at this point. For now I'll abuse my Polish friends, use duolingo and the webs for help.

In a frustrating way, it's kind of fun, though.
Just being able to say: '' płaszcz '' made me a bit proud. It's now my favorite Polish word, it means overcoat.

From time to time I make a video and read up random polish words to show how much I've learned. (Lol) At least I'm funny, and I like making people smile, so apparently Polish with Norwegian accent is cute. Now you know that.

The embarrassing part is that I don't know anything without peeking in my notes. . .
And because I just said that, I will try to write down anything I can think of (something) without peeking.
Will most likely be short words :p 

- Koń
- Mama
- Kawa
- Owoce
- Jestem
- Kot
- Pies/psa
- Zamek
- Sukienke
- Noć
- Babcia
- Słon
- Piwo
- Trzy
- Prosze
- But
- Tak
- Nie
- Bardzo
- Nie ma za co
- Spierdalaj
- Ty
- My
- Ja
- On, Ona, Oni
- Dom(u)
- Lekarz
- Kocham
- Lubię
- Spoko
- to

. . .

Ok I know more, but I am tired of copy and paste polish letters everytime I shall use them, since my keyboard and setting don't know how to write letters like : ę

So, apparently I need to learn more common sentences without peeking in my notes. And long words, oh. . .Idea for the next video:  I should practise at least one long word, and learn it ofc!

Anyways, enough for now. I refuse to give up because I simply don't understand, I just have to suffer until I do :p 
Perhaps I will invest in some classes eventually. Let's see how long my intrests last first.
Would not like to use 3500 noks for nothing either.


Bad cirkle

Are you healthy ? : You don't know how priveliged you are.
Just that.

Now I'm just gonna whine, because it helps nothing at all.
Three days of nauseous now, and I am getting mad. It seriously get me on my nerves now.
It is better, yes, but far from good.

1: I can't eat, because - it makes me sick.
2: I can't drink, because - it makes me sick.
3: I can't do anything, because - I don't have the energy. My body has nothing to go/work on.
4: I slept a lot since wednesday, but always wake up during the night because I want to puke, but it don't work. Also woke up with so much pain all over because the bed aint that good, so tonight I slept on the couch. 
5: When I try to eat or drink something I just feel terrible full, and its hard to swallow anything. Not to speak how delicious water taste when you can't drink as much as you want of it.

Sideeffect from all this : I am dehydrated, tired and have no energy, headache, still nauseous because it don't really get better when your stomach is empty.
The only thing that I feel I can do without uncomfort is being fast asleep. Laying down is ok enough, but still feels shitty.
Walking is the worst. Sitting is partly ok, but shitty too, because you have to get up at one point.
Yesterday it took me an hour and a half from the though: ''I should go to bed'' until I managed to move from the couch towards the bed.

And yes. I know the tricks : Eat dry cookies in small portions, eat often, drink bubblewater mixed with applejuice, in small amounts. That is what I do now. Had a glass of dead Farris before work, eaten 4 dry cookies over 1 1/2 hour, and one sip of applejuice.
Overall since wednesday (Its Friday now) I have only being able to eat: 1 1/2 rosted potato, 2 toasts, one handfull of nuts, 3 licorice twist, 4 dry cookies, and some water/applejuice. (At least there was no vomiting since wednesday. . .pobably because there is nothing to vomit.) 
I don't like this. Hate it infact. I love food, and I despite the though of loosing weight -.-

If Im not better over the weekend I will call my doctor to ask for advice. I can't live like this.


Whine whine, sorry*
Internet told me to do something distracting while I eat my cookies, so this is it. Whine on my blog. 

When you just want to be offensive - Take a deep breath.

You know. Honestly.
There are days when I just want to be offensive, days when I just want to say/write passive aggressive stuff just to attack where it hurts!
Why: Because there is a ''evil'' voice in your head just screaming ---> Because you deserve it, you moron!
And there are days I have started writing stuff on the social media-life, which would have gained nothing but confusion, anger, guilt and pain.
Luckily, I've deleted those post instead of posting. It DOES happen. I do think before I act, sometimes.

And just yesterday I learned how 'Take a deep breath' actually works. I read an article about it.
Deep breaths helps you focus back to the normal way of thinking, how to think rationally instead of let all your feelings and strong emotions comes out in a rage. Prevents you from saying hurtful things when you don't really want to.
Because when we are upset it is easy to let our emotion take control. Therefore people might get hurt, because emotions are one powerful source!

Now, I don't remember where I found this article, but I sure will try remember this deep breath exercises when things get difficult.
Imagine such a small and ''easy'' thing can prevent so much trouble from happening? 
So, listen. Listen when a friend tells you to :'Stop, take three deep breaths, now. Let go, and start over again.'
It helps!

I am not the right person to speak, but, anger rarely solves much. It just cause pain and confusion, this or the other way. Short terms or long terms, all depend on the size of the matter.
It's impossible to prevent it from burting out from time to time. . . but it is possible to control it, take precautions, try do the best out of it. Most of all, talk about it. Yelling is not talking.
Breath - talk, breath again, talk some more. 

I don't know where I want to go with this post, but. . . Don't be like me in my 14's, get easily offended over EVERYTHING. (Well, I still can be. Especially when it comes to animal wealthfare).
Most things are not worth getting upset about. It only drags you and your own happiness down.

That said - you are allowed to be angry and upset. I don't mean it that way. But, you understand :)
Just don't let it bury you. You are far to precious for that. You are worthy.


Unless you cheat in Gwent. You are a monster! 
(Witcher reference) 

All the WItchers/and Stripes - Drawings + My favorites

Here we go again. 
Round two (or three?)  is over, and it contains 16 drawings of 16 characters from The Witcher School larp.
Some I know very well, some I've never met.
Don't matter. Everyone who want their character to be drawn shall have it. From the larp, ofc.

In total I have now made 43 drawings of witchers since December 2016.
You can see more here


The last 16 is from August - November (3rd) 

Here they are :) 

It's hard to pick out favorites, but I shall give it a try.


It has to be this gentleman. (Blue Stripe) 
Why : There is just this feeling that I got the background fair enough, since I really don't do backgrounds, as you've may be have noticed.
I also like the bandana shading. It looks like it is moving, and that is something to me - who really enjoys experementing with light and dark. When it turns out right. . . ''right'' . . . I am happy. 
 Also, never drew a flamin torch before, so it was a challenge, but I found that I liked it :) 
And another thing : I used a terrible long time on the lips here. Was so difficult to get it right. But, kind of like how the hair turned out vs the dark.

2: Secondly it must be this lady.

I am really happy with the hands on the sword, the face and the hair. Also the fact that the bracers kind of look like metal.
I also had fun drawing her. I don't really enjoy drawing women, normally. But, I had fun with this ^_^ 

3 Next one is shared by these men.

The level of details in this is insane, and I hated myself in the process, since I don't have an unlimited amount of patience. But, when I manage to bite my teeth together and just do it. . .  I happen to be very happy with the result. And I am.
Like the shirt and the foldings in it, also the beard, the hair and the looks. 
The face is the most important element when I draw. If the face looks wrong in any way - I can't accept it, and will most likely not post it.

The same as above. I like the face, the shadows on the forehead and the eyes especially, also the white shirt. And again, the hair.
It might look easy, but for me it is not. There is just not black and white, or just one pencil. . . Many sizes, and many greyshades, different pencils and tools are used just there.
Also like the simple shading on the neck, just the right color.


And : 

All the requests were putted in that box. Pick one randomly, and draw.
I could never choose, so faith did it for me. 

My workplace. 

Do you have a talent?

Then don't hide it.

I've been thinking about this topic. Especially when I see how many talentive people I have in my circuit.
A ton of creative minds and hands there.
Can be anything from : 
- Art
- Music and singing
- Act, drama, dance
- Needlework 
- Woodwork
- Leatherwork
- Paint and designing
- Talent in the matter of speach and comunication.
- Sports
- Talent with animals and training
- Talent with people

And so on. The list of talents have no boarders. 
Point being, are you good at something - Show it. Don't hide it from the world.
Show it, be proud if it, because you are not born with a talent, you have earned it, worked for it, achieved it, because you hav spent a lot of  your time to get where you are.
So. Inspire others - Show what you can do. It's your passion, perhaps your job (Lucky). Show it. Share it. 

I would for sure like to see and know about talent :) 

''But, I don't have any talents.'' 

-I say that's bullocks, you just haven't found yours, yet.- 

Drawing - Lither

Character design for the first time in ages!


Horror challenge



Matogkakeoppskrifter.blogg.no - A blogger and a friend challenged me to do this thingy because its halloween and stuff soon.
I am not really a person who are into haloween in the first place, but why not. I can try.

Gonna answer some question about scary stuff- ish.
And because I need the training, I'm gonna try do it english as well. Also for my foregin friends - need to keep everyone included.

Google translate is my friend.


Personlal horror:

Your creepiest experience, ever?: 
Ehm. Hard to say. I kind of forget things, but I think it has to be a dream/nightmare/sleephallisunation experience. Always looking for logical explanations, though, I do believe there is more to this earth than we can see.

I think I just were in the phase of falling asleep when I saw a visible silouette of a hooded man leaning over me. He was not friendly, my feeling. Don't know what, but just ice cold stare - not It was so clear and real that I could not move, I completely froze and could not even scream, though I wanted to.
And the funny part is that this is not an old story. Happend 3 or 4 years  ago, still grown up an responsible. 

These sleep hallisunations happens from time, and I find all of them creepy as hell. Normally I ''see//feel'' spiders on my body, and that freaks me out so much that I :
1: Run up and scream
2: Turn the lights on
3: Shake
4: Turn the bed around, make sure it was really nothing there
5: Doublecheck
6: Go back to bed, or sleep on the couch.

(Yes, I Have phobia for spiders) 

What scared you as a child?:
Hmm. The house on the hill.
There was actually an old house on the hill. No-one lived there 20 years ago, no one still live there today.
This house was red, and very ghosty. If you walked up to it and looked through the window you could see jamjars covered with mold, thick thick layers of mold. Then you saw tons of newspapers on the couch and the floor, and dust and mess all over the place. The house was falling apart.
It just looked abonded, as it probably was / is. Some people have tried restore the house today, but the work has been cancelled.

I had to pass the house everyday on my way to school, and it was especially creepy when it was dark. Me and my friends always run the last 100 meters past the house.
We were child with running fantasies, yes. . . but the house is still creppy to this day.

What frightens you now?:
Well. Apart from loosing friends, and loved ones. . . To keep it on the creppy level : 
I'm not afraid of the dark and things like that, but, for some reasons I don't like high, surpricing noices. Things that explodes, ballons popping and things like that.

Any phobias: Yea, as mentioned over. Spiders. But also mold, especially on food. Goss! 

What's the name of your scariest friend?:
Hmm. Depens on the setting, so can be many.
I don't really know. I need to pass on this one, for now.

Creepy culture:
Have no idea what that means, but will go for extremism. Any version of it.

Artist/ band:
Creepy one? Marilyn Manison is obvious and first to come to my mind.

Creepy song:
Gaah, don't know. Organ background music in a horrormovie.


Creeypy book: 
Never read one.

Creepy movie: 
The shining if I have to pick one. I love creepy movies. Physically-mental-institution films are the best :) 

Rose red. Just watch it!


Creepy Games:
Doom 3 and Prey.

What scares you the most?:
I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want it to end there. So, am kind of afraid if God don't exist. No, I don't want to discuss/talk about it.

Needles or calories, what's worst: 
None ? I am for sure not afraid of calories.

Bats or spiders, whats worse?:
Fuckings spiders, mate. Bats are cute!

Clowns or Zombies?:
Never got the thing with clowns, but zombies eat your brains . . . so. 

Dentist or the govermentEasy, dentist!
High or dark places:   
I would go for dark places.



I won't callenge anyone, just feel free to copy if you want.

Drawing - Another witcher

Drawing - Another witcher + process

Well, process 1/2 :p 



Drwing - A witcher + process

Long time no see, but here is one.




4 Gosj, such a pretty face!



New start.

Strange things happens.

New to some, not so new to many: But I recently started in a new job. Same company, different workplace. 
Today is my second day, but I must say I feel confident that I think I will like it here. I got roughly 2 hours of teaching then I was left to fend for myself (aka: Learn) So I do my best, and the buildning is still standing.
I can't wait til I start remembering faces and names and thing runs more fluently. 
Besides that. Yeah. Work is good. It's a bit more busy, but I like it. Time flies.

It is weird though. After 9 1/2 years on one place, I suddenly should start somewhere else. But, it's still a reception, where I have experience - so it goes better than I feared. The people here are very friendly and helpful, and I feel I get along well. Wich is extremely important to me.
I do now also work in the city center. Love it. Close to everything.


That was one new start.

 Second : I was seeing / meeting my psycologist last Thursday. It went really well, actually. I met the sweetest guy, and 60 year old grandfather figure. Very calm, friendly, understanding and experienced guy.
No matter what I said he responded with: I have met maaaaany people in your exact situation.
And I was like. . . woah. I knew I was not alone, but damn.
Thanks to all my hobbies, and creative mind he saw hope for me aswell :) So hobbies are good! 
It's to early to say what my status is, but he told me it's most likely something between Burned out, and depression.
I can't wait to get a name on everything. Will be a relieve, weirdly enough.

Pehaps this guy can help me to be a better comunicator as well. Never been good to talk about feelings and how I feel about things. 

Third case: 

Witcher School happened again last weekend, and it was amazing. I felt so good being there, and though I was so tired in the end, and many days after - I felt really good coming home too. Mood is better, and I feel better in general. Like a burden liften of my shoulders. (Is Witcher School a therapy? Or is it just so good to see my witcher friends again?)
Or most likely it's a combination of many things.

1: New workplace, since my old one was bringing me down a lot through the latest year. Bad tidings and stuff.
2:  I eventually got the guts to see a doctor. Things have been a struggle since June. Or that was when thing started to get really heavy. 
3: Witcher School is always something I look forward to, now more than ever - and it happend, and I feel so blessed. Love that game, the world, that fiction fantasy of living in a castle and play! 



So. Yeah, I live in the hope that things will get better from now on. Day by day. 
As long as I just can get a list of everything, I know how to deal with them :) 

As for now, the sun is shining and it's freezing - Love it XD

Les mer i arkivet » Januar 2018 » Desember 2017 » November 2017


31, Bergen

En tegne/trene og skriveblogg. Jeg kommenterer ikke på andre blogger. Interesser: Tegning, skriving, dyrevelferd, hund, trening, reanactment, laiv, spill, sang og kor. I Juli 2015 fikk jeg min første fantasybok publisert. ''Klanen''



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