What can I say?
First thing first. I am a very emotional person. I'm not logic. I think and (re)act with emotions - both in good and bad ways.
And for varied reasons I just want to cry . . like really crawl down on the coach and scream until the tears stop coming.
Because crying is good for us, at least for me.
- I often feel better, afterwards.
- It reduce stress.
- It kills pain . . . much of it.
- It is sedative.
And lately I feel I should cry. I want to. . . but I can't.
I can't force the tars to come, though I have tried.
Tried to think of sad things, listen to sad songs, watched sad videos. . . ect.
But I just can't. It's nothing there. Not a chance.
And that annoys me.
My body is tired, my mind is tired, I'm tired. . . I need to release stress - let me cry, please. Why can't I cry?
And - I'm fine. Really.
I'ts just my own faults that leads me to this point / taking to much over my shoulders, more than I can handle. Typical me.
I need to learn to say and accept the concept of : 'No', I know. . .
People might have noticed something lately. My responding on messages is short, and at times might look like I'm bored or don't care.
That's not true. I would love to talk with everyone as much as possible.
But I just don't have time. There is always something going on, and I'm always somewhere, doing something.
At this time I'm just tired. Please don't shut me out if I happen to be distant and far away mentally.
Speaking of Karma - a case just came in, that actually disturbs me so much that I can just sit down and cry.
Well - Karma - Thanks I guess.
. . . that you walk around being embarrassed for days.
- The queen of misunderstandings.
- The queen of ''never take jokes at the right time.''
- The queen of IJustDontGetIt- for the hundredth time!
- The queen of '' You are dangerously naive and gullible ''.
- The queen of '' I believe everything I read/Watch''.
- The queen of '' being easily fooled''.
I'm just thinking back to some events in my life, and I'm laughing and blushing all over the place.
I have this thing of 'talk before think', combined with ' act first, think later' . . . and many funny and yet embarrassing things came out from that.
I'm surprised that no one yet have punched me in the face.
And. . . even better - I can't hide it either. I blush very easily, and people notice before I do. So the only thing I can do is play along with it. Embarrassing in the company of people who are smarter than me. . . which is basically everyone :p
So - Do I learn from it?: Probably not. Maybe. Sometimes.
I could come with one example to this. . . but I'm still so embarrassed around this, so I will leave you thinking about that for a while.
Or, never mind. I can share another story.
It happened years ago, when I was trying to learn drawing all over again. (And It was NOT good, I promise)
I drew a half naked elf. . . at work. And for some reason I was really happy with it (facepalm) and scanned it to my own email.
Problem is: I did not scan it to myself, but to a colleague, by a mistake. . . a man, grown up, decent man.
And I did not get it before he send me a replay: '' Nice drawing''.
And then he smiled extra much every time he passed me for the next two weeks.
I could never look him in the eyes again.
Now, your turn : Share your moments of : '' Sometimes I'm just so stupid that I . . . ''
Have you ever realized that the phrase: ''You look tired'', actually is the polite version of : '' You look like shit''.
And that's exactly how I feel this morning. I have a cold, my head is heavy, my nose is red and my eyes are swollen. . . and I'm sneezing. There is no cold if I'm not sneezing.
So when the first colleague sees and greet you with: You look tired - you just know: Yuepp. Thanks. Can I go home now and be sick for real?
I'm not complaining as long as I can sleep at night. . . If that is stolen from me due coughing or worse. . . THEN I will complain, complain like death itself haunts my house.
For now, I wish you a good Tuesday.
I have a list I need to complete. . . and its not really getting shorter.
But one more down, many more to go.
Another witcher drawing from 'Witcher School'
Today - A skelliger - Hilda
From Witcher School larp.
Master Elinor - great fencing teacher,
Do we have the same humor?
I Laughed. . .
Character design with some prosess.
Helplines, short to say- Is needed at times.
Just dont. . . do. . . this. . .
Im not asking you to bother with everyone elses problems, just. . . show some respect, and keep this joke to a minimum. Its over-used anyways.
Already they have started uploading a few of the pictures from this amazing larp I attended.
I found one with me in it, and I find it kind of cool.
The story in this is from the first night.
Me (Bodil) a witcher apprentice is discussing with the Blue Stripe commander, Hazel.
She have some issues with the Temerian soldiers and she wants to prove them a point or two.
I hope for more pictures later :D
"A dead tired woman is half-sleeping over a table. The robe is used as a pillow while Rains of Castamere plays in her ears. She never sleeps on the plane, but this time she did sleep all the way from Wroclaw to Denmark. Now she have 2 hours deadtime until the next one. She is home in Bergen 17:45"
It is nearly impossible to even try to explain how my weekend at witcher School was this time.
If I should use few words it would be;
The people. Friends. Gameplay. The story. Suprices. Joy. Fun. Laugher. Challenges. The castle. The enviroment. The food. The drinks. The training. The classes. The love. The hate. The suspiscions. The speeches. Everything.
Everything was so well done.
I had so many good in game moments that I cant pick one out from another.
But if I should give it a try:
-The fight and endless discussion between my character and the Blue Stripes was really fun.
-The hate my character had for the elven master and how she treated her was fun. Playing rude is just really something.
Not everyday I can scream "Fuck off" to a teacher. Or give her ugly looks and comments everytime she was present.
Well. The weekend was perfect. I had the best time from morning to morning. It was little sleep, you can say.
I think it was 5hours in total from Thursday to Sunday.
And three hours from Sunday to Monday.
(Afterparty's fault. Wich also was pretty darn awesome.)
Suddenly out of nowhere Im back at the airport, feeling empty.
Everything happen so fast and now its over. For now.
I just remember how incredible happy I was when I arrived Poland, and when I met everyone at the castle the first day.
I just could not stop smiling, not for a second. Even when the game started I was smiling, though I was suppose to be serious.
We had really good weather also. Sun and clouds, and shit freezing in the nigths. Thank God for robes, just saying.
Surrounded by witchers, Temerian (dogs)Soliders, elves, mages, master of mirrors and sorceress, this larp weekend was just perfect.
Witcher school did it again. Thank you for taking so good care of everyone at all times.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Now people have to live with my endless stories about the larp for another 6 months.
I love you guys so much. Cant wait to continue Bodils story once more.
So. It is 40 minutes left to boarding. I am starving and my body screams after a good, long night sleep - but damn. Could I do it all over again- I would. Easy.
Who can sleep when there is so many things going on anyways?
Witcher school is more than a larp. Thats for sure is my opinion, and I cant imagine me without it now.
Ill just leave it there for now. Writing from the phone.
Short version: I hate to leave Poland already. Hate to leave the fantasyworld I grew to love so much, hate to leave all these good people, knowing it will be atleast 6 months until I see them again.
Now well. Good thing there is something called phones and facebook.
Post larp depression sucks, but is also a comfirmation that I had a wonderful stay at Kaer Marter.
Witcher school is 1 day away!
I am 89% ready.
Did some packing yesterday. Unlike last time, I did not panic, but I did walk around the house like a confused little girl.
WHAT HAVE I FORGOT?
The thing that even scares me more is that my luggage seems so light. It can't be right. I must have forgot something really important.
I know I have packed:
- 2 pair of pants
- 3 shirts (!) Never know.
- 2 robes. . . one small and practical one, and one huge-freaking-useless-unless-you-are-planning-to-do-nothing.
- 2 hoods.
- 2 basically of everything.
- Potions. All my two kinds of potion. Swallow and Golden Oriole. I hope someone else can drink mine, because I don't wanna! (Hope they dont break on their way down, though I have wrapped the bottles good enough. . . wonder what the custom people will say if they controll my bag. . .what will I say? - It's alcohol, home made with herbs...?)
- Boots in the hand luggage - Like a pro!
- A towel
- Things for decorating my room
- Fancy cups
- Books and things I most likely never will use.
- Cards . . .
And all those things I can't pack before tonight. Like toothbrush and other girly needs :p
Not that I need hairbrush anymore - whoohoo, that's the thing I always forgets anyways.
And all the things I need to remember to do tomorrow / later today.
1: Make sure I have cash for the travel, the bus and the hotel. I will do that now, come to think of it.
2: Buy something to drink at the tax-free. Wroclaw airport had one, did they not? I don't remember o.0
3: Pray that the flights are in time, and it will go smoothly.
4: Pack phone charger. ( I use the phone a lot! Its a 5 hour travel after all. I'm alone, could die of boredom you know.)
5: Don't panic.
6: Don't oversleep! By the Gods - NO
7: Be super excited!
And finally I can also say : IT'S HAPPENING TOMORROW !!!
Though some people are already there - meeting up tonight. Others, like me - Need to work another day.
Please send me a wink from the party. Wink, videos and pictures - so I can kind of be there with you :)
I will be with you from over here.
And Thursday - Prepare for attacking hugs. I am just like that, and I'm sorry for invading peoples intimate zones with my presence. (LOL, dear God, I'm such a werido. . .)
I apologize in advance, also for me being face-blind and unable to remember face and names. Please forgive me if I should remember you, and don't say hi - I am NOT ignoring you. I'm just stupid :p
So, all the awkwardness aside.
See you tomorrow, and I can't wait to get in the game again.
. . . with something.
I just felt an instant urge to give an extra thought to people who struggles with small or big things in their life.
We all go through difficult times, some more than others. Some people are open about it, others are not. Some people hide it well, pretending everything is fine, while in the reality: From the inside out - they are torn apart. Nobody knows.
Many of us 'suffer' in silence, never bother telling anyone - because we don't want to be a burden or a pin in the side. Many of us keeps telling ourselves the bitter lie we force us to believe: ''It will be alright'', I don't have a problem, I don't need help. All I need is just some sleep, a vacation, a drink, a night on the town. . . .
We hide in a dark corner, away from people, away from life. We don't want to be a burden.
For various reasons we have our things. I do to. Mostly I'm open with my things, but not with everything. Because it's hard to talk about feelings. You don't know how people will react to it, what will they think? Will they think and treat you differently if they knew everything? Or will it be a relief, just to let everything go and stop worrying?
I love to believe the last thing is the correct answer, but I can't say I will lead by example there.
Sometimes I wish I could be there for everyone. Just be there, give a hug, cook waffles and make a cup of tea and be the friend who can lift the spirit for just a moment. We don't have to talk or do anything in fact. Would just love to be there to show them that - they are not alone in this world. People loves you.
I would love to be that friend. I know my energy level is not inexhaustible, and I will get tired, I admit - but I would love to keep it going as long as possible, non the less.
My point with this post was just that : I think of you today. I have many people close to me who could need a extra hug from time to time. And I just want you to know that - I really care for you and want you to be happy. That's all I want - people close to me to be happy, calm and at peace.
I think of you today, and though we don't always talk or see each other regularly, just know that time is precious, time is free: I have time.
I love you, and remember: I will always find and see the good things in you, if you want it or not.
A female, brave witcher this time.
Such beautiful hair. . .
Needed to do one more before the larp again :)
Tiny picture. o.0
So. I start early...
Not really packing, just thinking practically, since I know I will stress with it the day before.
Some stash from my night table.
Yes. I got inspired by the witcher school to redecorate everything in the house.
But The boots.
My new boots. I need a plan because they are waaay to large for me. Like: I cant run with them... unless I add some thick socks!!!
3 thick socks + normal socks and Im close! The boots sits ... better...
Thats my plan and solution for today.
Bring a lot of socks!!
Im glad I kind of start packing today- the chance of forgetting important things is smaller if I can add something everyday.
Just one week left.
I can't believe it, it is suddenly so difficult to imagine me be back at the castle, doing witcher stuff again - so soon.
It's hard to imagine that I should start packing soon, planning what I should wear and how I am gonna manage 20kg luggage code as a LARPER.
I failed miserably last time with 23 kg, and I did buy a ticket without luggage on top of that . . . results - used 1500 NOK before even leaving the country (Taxi and fee.)
Any time now my character sheet will come. I'm so curious on what challenges I should be preparing for this time, and I love to just put everything in the writers hands, not knowing anything about my fate, future or changes I will need to do. I will play on it, and that's what it's all about. :)
Some people love to write and create their own character from scratch to finish. I'm not like that. I'm more like:
- Give me something to do, and I'll do it.
F U N
And of course, I make up my own personality between the plots and sub plots. And now I had 6 months thinking of something, and I will try it out, and build on it. It's gonna be so fun.
In one small week I can continue my characters journey at the Witchers School.
In one week I will meet many of my friends again. And meet new people, and play with as many people I can.
In one week I'm no longer the weird one - we all are. And, how I love it.
In one week there is no such thing as reality and real life. . . just for a few days.
So funny. People who are attending keep posting countdowns now. Some say it both 5 or 6 days left. Guess there are some lucky bastards out there who can leave for Poland before others.
I'm one of those sorry others. I will arrive 12:30 on THURSDAY, missing the pre - meetup - party -.- But in stone age Norway, they decided that there is no planes to Wroclaw that day. Period.
It's sad because it was so nice last time. Gah, well. I'm staying for the after party though, lets hope many people can attend that one too.
So. One week left. Oh, man. (sipping tea and bite fingernails)
Why am I still shocked?
I know the first thing I'm gonna do when I get there (after greetings and such) - Hug the big tree - I have done it once, now its a tradition. I would dance barefoot around it also, if It was not like - winter -
The tree I'm talking about it over there ------> out of the picture of course.
I even miss running to that monument. Se that white thingy in the far end? That's a pretty fine monument of something. . . Its further away than it looks.
This time I'm not (that) nervous, beside one thing: I have 30 min. to reach the Wroclaw plane in Denmark. There is NO room for any delays!
*Prays, please no delays, please, please*
Yeah. . .
Its a scene from the story. . . or an attempt on it at least ;)
(Warning, wall off text)
Can't believe this is happening. I just can't.
I knew ever since last run in September that I can't go in March, because it's gonna be to expensive so close up to everything else that is gonna happen this spring. I knew there was no way, because I don't even have more vacation-days left from work.
I have been SO sad about this, because I REALLY- REALLY wanted to go, and I did everything to avoid listen to people talk about the next coming event. I was so jealous!
Imagine when they start sharing the photos?! *PAIN*
And. And. AND then : Magic happens!
(Heartbeat is just killing me while writing this. I am so happy.)
A friend I met from the previous school posted that there is 3 free tickets available! And I should ask for one.
My first though was: How sweet of you, but I can't. . . #Whine
Then the crazy part of me woke up with a: ''I could take a few phone calls. What is there to loose?''
So I talked to the Witcher school epic boss, asked if this actually was true, and if he just could put a ticket aside while I took some phonecalls, which were no problem!
So I called home, I called work, I called a few colleagues, home again to be sure. . . . And - more magic happens. My sweet colleagues steps quickly up with a: Yes, I can take your shift this and that day, no problem.
I: NO WAY (almost crying of joy!)
And from there I just went beserk mode.
A few moments later Tickets were bought, character formed filled out, transport form filled out. Today - hotel booked - and documentations printed out.
Im even a Gwent-card ( made by Fain Maca ) <3
I am so happy that it hurts, literally, it hurts.
Already borrowed a larp sword, and ordered print for my characters ''romance card''. Suddenly 6 months turned down to 14 days! Can you believe it!?
Why, how can all these good things happen to me over and over again. I don't deserve this - why, how ?! How can I be so lucky. What have I ever done?
So. As you can tell, I am very excited, traveling on the Hype-train now. Again.
I feel like I just left Belgium where I met many people from the larp, just because I missed them so much, and I though I had to go there since I won't see them anytime soon . . and now its just 2 weeks until I see them all again, not 6 months. 14 DAYS!
I can't wait to put on Bodils costume again, be her again, and do all these crazy Witcher things again.
I can't wait to meet all my new friends again, meet new people whom I might also call friends, and interact with as many people as possible. I can't wait to explore Kaer Marter in winter time. (September in Poland was summer 20+ Now I have seen picture containing snow!)
I can' go on forever just talking rubbish, and it still can't express my happiness.
I am weird, I know. The happier I get, the more weird I get. Just deal with it.
(I even drew my whole team)
So, I'll shut up with this:
23-26th March I will be back in Poland - at Moszna Casle - and live the fantasy-life I always dreamed of when I was a child- teenager- adult.
(I never grow up)
So, this is so much more than a LARP. So, so much more.
Forever grateful again.
Looking so forward to panic packing, hanging on the airport, be scared on the plane, getting lost, be a tourist of Wroclaw, dancing around the great oak before gameplay, and hug so, so so many people!
I had to prepare something for the next Witcherschool larp.
It involved me dressing up as my character, a ton of makeup, a chellphone-cam, photoshop (with no experience) some drawing, and fighting all that awkwardness.
And here is the results.
For beeing the first time, Im happy with it :)
Present: Bodil De Virsing ( me)
It was originally a window and a modern chair instead of the books behind me there.... XD
Nå må jeg gå norsk. Ikke sjans jeg gidder å oversette dette til engelsk.
Forlaget har lest alt ( to manus, som er ganske lange), og de har gitt utfyllende svar tilbake. Jeg er mer enn fornøyd. Ble til og med litt inspirert til å skrive videre. Hadde nesten glemt at jeg hadde sendt noe til dem, faktisk.
Skrivelysten har vært død i LANG tid nå, men kjekt å få en vekker.
Dette skrev de:
fra Mangscho forlag,
''Utgangspunktet for Den forviste alveprinsen er en fin og klassisk idé om den unge helten som ikke trives hjemme ? her svært tydelig med det vanskelige forholdet til faren ? og som reiser ut i verden for å gjennom mange prøvelser for å finne seg selv.
Magiplaneten Pellapella (Merethe bryter inn: Navnet er endret til Makt av Magi siden den gang,) tar oss med til en ukjent planet og to interessante raser, Myktere og Flyktere, og en voldsom og krevende magi som danner grunnlaget for den videre maktkonflikten i historien.
Det er vår vurdering at du bygger opp interessante univers og bruker velkjente strukturer på en fin måte. Historiene er i stor grad gjennomgarbeidet, og ditt engasjement for sjangeren er tydelig. Dessverre har vi likevel kommet frem til at det er for langt frem med tanke på utgivelse hos oss. Fantasysjangeren er en spennende, men krevende sjanger med lesere med høye forventinger, og vi er et lite forlag som kun utgir et begrenset antall titler hvert år. Nåløyet for å bli antatt blir derfor ekstra trangt, og bare noen ytterst få slipper gjennom. Vi ser at vi ikke har anledning til å arbeide videre med dine manus, og takker derfor nei til å stå for utgivelse av Den forviste alveprinsen og Magiplaneten Pellapella.''
Avslag er ikke så gale så lenge en får noe igjen for det :)
Hands on cheek,
nose to nose.
you are close
Kiss on lips,
face to face.
Gods and angles,
what a praise.
Love is unconditional,
love is strong.
Kisses are powerfull,
so please, don't prove me wrong.
LArgest project yet, and I did not even complete it.
Just have no more motivation to go on. Took two weeks already.
Now: Sitting alone on the airport Cobenhagen waiting for my final flight back home.
I have spent the weekend in Belgium.
Reason: Meet people I met from Witcher school in September (larp)
Now I truly understand what the mean when they say that there is the people they miss the most after a witcher school event.
I have never seen anything grow so fast as this.
How everyone instantly bond after a few days, and it keep growing.
The chemistry between us is just magical.
This friday I travelled to Belgium to meet some of them. (16people in total ) Someone I knew very well, other not so much. But after this weekend I have even more friends.
And damn how I love them!
There was so much laugher, good stories, crazyness and more.
We did everything from: Restaurants, bar to bar, sightseeing in Brussels, cafes, boardgames, and talking. . . Lots of talking and witchertalking.
These crazy geeky people are getting so important to me. everyone is so different yet not. We have things in common and that is what makes this possible.
A huge thanks to every witcher out there who makes these invites possible. They open their houses and offer so much og their time to make it possible that people from different countries can gather up and be together.
Huge thanks to Jonas and Jeremy for this weekend. You did hell of a work, and damned how you succeded. At least for my part.
You saw everyone. And Im sure everyone felt as welcome and taken care of, as I did.
Epick thanks to everyone really. Thanks for making this weekend the best. and thank YOU for beeing that person YOU are!!
Never doubt what an amazing person YOU are. Im so glad I met everyone I met this weekend. And I really hope to see you again in September.
Its less than a year. So I guess I can wait, though it will be hard.
To everyone who arrange witcher school meetups around the world: Thank you.
If I could, I would gladly attend everyone of them! ! Because there is so many more people I would like to meet again.
One at the time I guess.
Thank you for inviting me. . . I am truly honoured and I cried at the airport, saying goodbye for the 4th time.
Thank you so much Bart for offering 30minutes ( plus trafficjam) of your time to draw me back to the airport.
You are too kind!
I could thank everyone in the enternal.. but I am writing this from the phone and Its awful, but neccecary, because my brain cant focus if I dont get this out.
Special thanks to the other members of the Claws attending. You have a special place in my heart <3
I am at the airport as I sayd. I am dead tired, sad but also very satisfied. This weekend has been perfect! Just perfect.
Every word, smile, laugher, story you shared with me is a part of it.
I treasure this forever. Treasure new friendship. No borders, sea or moutian can prevent that.
1st: It has been an awesome reenactment weekend!
(Downside: Little sleep.)
Super downside: Little sleep night to Monday, due to convoy over the mountain. Took 3.5 hours extra. (I was in good company though).
I was home at 02:35, and had to get up at 06:45 again the next day.
I got up 07:07.
Gave me 3.57 hrs sleep IF I managed to fall asleep at the very same moment I saw the pillow. I did not.
Here I am, at work, in physical pain because of tiredness. I feel dizzy,nauseous, uncomfortable and unfocused on my task.
I have called of today's piano recital, and will do no workout after work.
The only plan I have for the day, is : Sleep until role-game (D&D pathfinder) begins later this evening, perhaps only get up to eat.
Two hours has passed at work, and I am literally all worn out already, and have no idea how I am gonna get through this day. It is of course really busy too.
Ha ha ha ha.
I did read this in his voice, so badly!
Just this part tok several hours.
This is the ''quick'' part. Won't even think about the detail part coming soon.
Ok, fun part first - the face.
Ok, lets do this. . . One piece at the time. . . one small piece at the time -.-
MANY hours later!
5 and Done
Worth the frustration, and Im happy with the results.
Olgierd von Everec is a cool character in The Witcher 3 expation - Heart of Stone (Game)
Let me know what you think :)